Part of not owning your own life is not owning your own narrative. My mom took my narrative away from me by slandering my name and manipulating my siblings against me.
After a few years, I started to take my narrative back. That is part of what this blog is about. After a few years, I realized even the narrative I've shared here wasn't even true.
I said I estranged myself from my family. That's not true. I put space between me and my mother, so I could live my own life. When she refused to respect my boundaries, I created new ones, like blocking her number. I also made it clear to my siblings that I didn't want this to affect our relationship. I never asked to be away from them.
But once my mother sensed new boundaries, she pushed me out. She has said she wants me back, but the reality is that she pushed me out. I never asked for estrangement, it was put onto me.
That's why I needed to grieve.
Other narratives revolved around the idea that I am selfish. I am not selfish, she is. Just because I have chosen to show myself compassion does not make me selfish. It makes me loving towards myself. I will never apologize for that.
There are countless other narratives. "You are mean, you are rude, you are disrespectful, I've been an AMAZING mother, I matter most, I am selfless, etc., etc.." They're all wrong. And it took me quite some time to realize and accept what all the false narratives are rooted in.
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