The story of my wife's journey through graduate school.
My wife, Aimee recently graduated from the University of Southern California's Rossier School of Education with a Master of Education in School Counseling and to me, that is the least impressive part of it all. To explain, I would like to start back at her undergraduate experience. When she started her undergraduate education at the University of California San Diego, she entered as a structural engineering major, she then switched to environmental sciences, then environmental engineering, then nano engineering, then economics, then management science, and finally finished with a B.A. in Economics and a minor in Education Studies. All of that left her with a degree she was not completely attached to, a pretty down there GPA, little to no knowledge of life after college, and the tiniest inkling that she enjoyed helping children grow and learn.
Time to get a job and start a career. Following that inkling, she started taking various jobs as a preschool substitute teacher, preschool teacher, and after school teacher / assistant lead. During this time she also thought more thoroughly about her career. What did she want to do? Not econ. With her passion for kids and their mental and emotional development she decided on school counseling. She would just have to get a master's degree and credential. Seems straightforward. Well, not so much when you left undergrad with a degree in economics and a poor GPA. It was quite discouraging and made the task seem herculean.
I encouraged her to apply to smaller schools which had less strict GPA requirements and to make the most of the education. An institution doesn't define a person after all and she'd still be able to become a school counselor. Too nervous to apply to bigger schools, she listened and got into National University. From the beginning she did not like it. There was just something about the program that rubbed her the wrong way. She lamented the whole experience and tortured herself with the regret of not trying for other schools. In fact she looked up other schools and knew she would have preferred USC's program which has College and Career Readiness, Restorative Justice, and Trauma Informed Practices as its academic pillars. She wanted the program. It suited her.
Almost done with the National University program, tens of thousands of dollars in tuition later, and after months of complaining about the program, I came home one day to this -- "I want to quit National University and apply to USC. I know I might not get in, but I want to quit anyways. National is not for me and USC is". I responded ... "okay". I knew she meant it. I knew there wasn't anything I could say against it or that my opinion even mattered. I knew there was only one thing I could do in that moment; support her. So I did.
During those times, I could not explain how we were making these decisions. As twenty-three and twenty-five year olds, we did not have the life experience nor adult guides to help us navigate such things. If analyzed, there was quite a bit at stake. How does one take on the burden of a debt that seemingly did not get you anything? How does somebody delete the time they have spent on a degree, when they are almost done, making it seem wasted? Why would anyone take the risk of throwing an effort into the trash without having a backup plan which is sure to succeed? For us, we did not understand our answers, we just knew instinctively what we wanted to do. So I asked what was next and obviously the first thing was to apply to USC.
She had about one week to apply, so she stayed up and worked long hours to put an application together. She mustered everything she had to submit something on time and asked for advice when needed. Then she applied. After her submittal, she dropped out of the National University program without any understanding of whether she'd gotten in. After months of waiting, she finally got a decision from USC. She did not get in.
Dang, this was hard. We knew it was a possibility. We knew there wasn't any certainty and that we'd taken a risk, but it was still hard. The doubt came back, the decreased self confidence, the sadness, the exhaustion. It all came in and I knew there was only one thing I could continue to do; support her. I told her we're going to try again. We were not going to give up. We had made a bet on her and both of us knew the race wasn't over yet. She navigated the emotions and committed to another attempt. This time, more time was spent, she was more thorough, and received more advice. With this time and reflection, her fire was reignited and she got another application in. After months of waiting, she finally got a decision from USC. She had gotten in.
I cried. I squeezed her. We smiled and were thrilled. She had done it. After years of questioning what she wanted to do, where she wanted to go, she ended up in a place she wanted to be. At this point, I could go on about her experience through her education and into graduation, but I don't believe there is a reason to. As they say, the rest is history. There was no doubt that she was going to finish the program and excel and that is exactly what she did. To this day, I am proud. Again, not because of the accomplishment, but because what it represents.
The reason she made that decision to start over is because she was not at a place that was her. I remember her telling me she wanted to go on and help kids grow and that NU was not giving her the best opportunity to serve those kids. She believed they deserve more from her; only her hardest efforts. USC would give her an opportunity to think bigger, have courageous conversations, and challenge herself to strive for more. What's more, they aligned with her values. So she quit, left, tried to get in, failed, tried again, and then got in. She never wasted time because that time served as a learning experience, an opportunity for growth. The added debt is difficult, but not insurmountable. Regardless, money is not everything; it is only something. What's more, any bet is worth taking when it's on yourself. You're bound to get something out of it no matter what. She made the right decision not because of the result, but because of the intention.
I believe life is a process, not a destination. She went through her own process with the history, education, experiences, and life she'd been given. Through it all, she's continued to grow, evolve, increase her understanding, and by extension change her approach to things. She's faced failure, but did not give up. She's dove into and discovered more of herself. I think this is the only thing anybody can ever do in life and that is why I am proud. I know this will only continue on ad infintum; so here's to many more years of growth and learning, Aimee. I love you.
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